Working late...

It's 1.30 am and it's the Nth night in the past weeks that i'm up working so late. I haven't been waking up late either, for I've been waking up to a brain buzzing with a list of chores and errands.

i'm tired and I've been neglecting my writing because it's too difficult to write creative or complicated stuff when the brain is being wrung like a wet rag.

So what have I been up to?

Admin stuff. Administrative things, like planning projects, budgets, proposal, timelines, etc etc. For a while, it bothered me like how it used to bother me when I was working in a corporate office. ZZZzzz.

But friends helped me realise that this is all part and parcel of my work as a writer/artist. It's the "un-glamorous" part of every art project, but also one of the most essential parts.

And look, my friend A said, Isn't it nicer, better, infinitely more meaningful to be doing the administrative things for projects that I believe in?

Well, yes, indeed, i suppose it is nice, better, and infinitely more meaningful.

Admin really shouldn't bother me like how it used to bother me when I was administrating senior management's political spew and hidden agendas. 

And besides, I'm actually quite good at admin, which is why i could rise up far enough into the corporate offices to see the vomit and recognise the smell. It was just the purpose and the smell and the sounds people make when they puke shit that made me gag. 

Now that I'm administrating my own puke-shit, admin shouldn't bother me.

Now that I'm doing admin just to make my dreams come true, I might even come to like admin with time. But then, does that mean i'll be working even later into the night?!