This was a piece that I wrote sometime ago for my blog.
Watch out! was inspired by my friends at work talking about shit and tapeworms over lunch. So they said they were fed with some "tapeworm medication" when they were young. But they didn't have tapeworms, because they didn't shit any out.
me: what do you mean you didn't shit any out?
them: apparently if you have the worms, and you take the medicine, you will shit them out.
me: how wld you know if you shat it out?
them: cos you can see the worms in the shit.
me: you mean you can see the worms? as in they'll be moving?
them: yah! they'll crawl about.
me: then you'll exclaim "OMG my shit is alive!!!"
There was a girl who was sitting on the toilet bowl one day and she shitted what she initially thought was shit. Then, before she flushed it away, something caught her eye - something that moved in the water. So she pulled her face closer to look.
Floating near the surface of the water, was a little brown hemisphere of something, and from it, fine ribbons hung - a little bit translucent, a little bit murky brown... it was a little brownish jellyfish...
In her mind, she immediately thought of all the marvellous things, wow, the news, the sensation, the fanfare about how she's the miraculous girl who gave birth to a jellyfish. (Through her anus.) Oh how the scientists would have a field day, it might hold the antidote to some strange illness. She had pretty healthy bowels, maybe the jelly fish kept it healthy, maybe it holds the antidote to cancer! Oh no, now that she's shitted it out would she be unhealthy from now? Nah, it'd be okay, it's for mankind, she'd save the world! Watch out, Illness! and Pre-mature Death-due-to-colon-cancer! (It should at least help cure colon cancer.) Here comes the shit jellyfish!
In her frenzy, her body, however, reacted quite differently. Her pupils dilated, and her heart beat faster, and her mouth opened and uncontrollably let out her voice that screamed, "MY SHIT IS ALIVE!" which triggered her arm to uncontrollably reach towards the flush handle which she flushed.
As she watched the jellyfish spiral in the toilet bowl uzumaki (whirlpool), she felt the flush from her face flushed away with her hopes for fame. She stood. Stunned. For a while. It was only until the water in the water tank stopped trickling and the water surface in the towel bowl stopped vibrating altogether then she came to her senses enough to wonder - hey, did I really just see a shit jellyfish in the toilet bowl, or not? and even if I did, did I really shit it out or not? Unless I should ever shit out another jellyfish, I would never know. And even if I shit out another jellyfish, how would I know that I did shit one before, and it was not due to how my mind was set on shitting out a jellyfish?
Confused, perturbed, and in an uncomfortable daze, she went out of the toilet and forgot to wash her hands.